6 Things That Are Imperative For A Dad To Teach His Daughter

image courtesy of momma pope As a father I am a firm believer that whatever you can teach a son, you can pretty much teach a daughter the same skills.  Anything from how to throw a baseball properly to baiting a fishing hook is fair game for both sexes.  You should teach girls about how to manage money, how to hold a hammer, what the quarterback's job is and the different types of screwdrivers, they're all very important skills.  I get frustrated when I see a woman who has no clue how to even put together an IKEA desk or asks what inning the football game is in.  My wife can hammer a nail straighter than most men in our neighbourhood and knows as much about our local hockey team as I do.

As a typical Canadian dad I would love for my daughter to play hockey, that would be awesome, but if its ballet she chooses then ballet it is.  She's currently too young for hockey or ballet so we have her enrolled in swimming lessons and she loves it.

Mom, of course, is going to pass along some skills and knowledge that she has obtained from her mom who learned from her mom....(and so it continues).  With each passing generation, information that is no longer pertinent gets left out.  The most valuable skills get passed along (which is why mothers typically no longer teach daughters how to churn butter!)  In our household, I'm sure mom is going to teach our daughter how to sew, bake, and about computers (she's employed in the computer consulting field).

There are some things that she can only learn from dad.  There is probably a giant list, but here are the ones I feel are of most important.

1. How a woman should be treated - through words and actions. It's not only important for you to tell a your daughter how a woman should be treated, but she should see it on a daily basis from you towards her and her mother, it then becomes the norm.

2. That no matter what people might say - she is capable of anything. The gender barrier b.s. unfortunately still exists.  You need to teach your daughter that it exists, and that with perseverance she can do anything she dreams of in life.  It's of no use for mom to be telling her she can do anything she dreams and dad says "being a firefighter is for boys".

3. That men love and show emotions. Not just toward the women in their lives but the other men.  It's ok to love a buddy like a brother and hug your dad and tell him you love him for that matter!

4. That whatever she feels she can tell her mom, she should feel comfortable telling her dad. - I'm not a big fan of "I told my mom but I'd NEVER have told my dad".  Yes there are going to be some exceptions to the rule on what a daughter will tell her dad due to her comfort level. That line of communication to her dad should always be available to her.

5. That whatever decisions she makes in life that you will always be there. - There are going to be times when you are proud as punch and times when you may not have made the same decision she did, but you are there for her, you need to be her "rock".

6. That she's beautiful. - A given, but dad's shouldn't be afraid to reinforce this point.  There are too many women out there with image issues, its scary.

I would like to hear what you other dads think about this topic.  I would also like to hear from you girls, is there something that you distinctly remember "dad taught me that"   See you in the comments!

Why We Would Be Kidless If I Had To Carry The Baby

I flat-out don't think I could do it!

So, I have mentioned in previous posts that my wife is pregnant with our second child and we’re very excited to hear it’s going to be a girl (that makes two girls for us!). It’s an awesome experience from conception to delivery, it really is. Your new child goes from a little speck on the first ultrasound to a “baby bump” on mom’s tummy. We also had a second ultrasound and got to see little arms and legs and feet, which makes the experience much more “real”. My wife is in the beginning of her third trimester and this is where the real fun begins. As a dad to be, you get to feel kicks on the outside of mom’s tummy which is really your first interaction with your new child. You can begin to read to your unborn child and play stimulating music for him/her, the development and attachment begins here. Dads to be walk around proud as punch at what they have done to create a new life with their wife, proudly showing off mom’s tummy as proof of his work.

At some point during the pregnancy, Mom and Dad typically begin what I call “nesting”. They ready the “nest” for the new arrival. Nursery’s get painted and decorated, baby furniture is purchased and assembled and you begin assembling a wardrobe for your new bundle of joy. Playpens get strategically placed in the family room, baby gates get installed. It is all such a very exciting time and Dad to be is enjoying it very much. Mom to be on the other hand is entering the final few miles of a marathon and is beginning to feel it.

Women are such troopers for the dedication, sacrifices and love it takes to have a child. I am 100% certain that if it were up to men to have babies, there would be a lot less babies born annually. The third trimester is where mom is having her toughest time. A good nights rest is pretty hard to come by so mom is perpetually sleep deprived to begin with. Mom’s walk turns to a pronounced “waddle” (my wife hates that word!) . It is kinda cute though, when they walk their tummy goes one way and their butt goes the other. Mom frequently suffers from swollen feet and calves and when it’s at its worst an affliction called cankles where your calves are so swollen you cant tell them from your swollen ankles. Getting out of deep chairs becomes a chore. Mom has to arch her back in a way to thrust baby in to the air and push with her hands to project herself out of the chair, it’s really quite amusing. My wife is an average height woman, not “tall” by any means, but we have an extraordinarily tall captains bed so very very soon we are gong to need the “stepstool” to get into bed. To this day I am still amazed she is able to get into our 4x4 truck without having to take a run (errr…….quick waddle) at it!

During this final trimester all Dad to be can do is try and make his wife as comfortable as possible. I say try because I think its an un-obtainable goal, much like my being able to put the Tupperware back properly, or fold bath towels. We can rub feet, get items so mom doesn’t have to get up, give (crappy in my case) shoulder massages, much like trained monkeys, but a job we relish. As guys we get too proud when talking to buddies, with our “bigger is better” mentality.Often overheard guy to guy chat about his wife being pregnant “oh ya chuck, carol is doing well, she’s as big as a house, that’s gonna be one strappin’ kid!”. Never, ever, ever let your wife hear you say something like that (take my advice on that one). “You’re getting so big that soon you are going to have smaller women orbiting around you”…..….also not a good idea!

All kidding an joking aside, I just want to say “I love you honey” just on the off chance that my wife is bored enough to read the blog (LOL). I really admire everything that she’s doing to make our family grow. There’s a free foot rub on me tonight!

Please share your comments on pregnancy!