Why Kids Are Always Testing Our Limits

I've had a chance to spend a great deal of time with my nieces, my daughter and her cousins over the years.  What I've noticed is that each and every kid is always testing the limits.  They try to make their own rules and break the ones you make.  As much as you tell them not to do something because it will lead to bodily injury, they're going to do it anyway.  As annoying as it can be at times, kids are not only learning what they can get away with, but they're learning a lot about themselves.  Let me explain:

1. It teaches them what will hurt them and what will not.

2. It teaches them that they have to listen to their parents because we are typically looking out for their well being.

3. It teaches them that there are repercussions to disobeying.

4. When they get away with something it teaches them something about their limits.  What they actually can do, physically or otherwise.

Our house has porch that overlooks the driveway with a two foot drop to the driveway.  Continually we are telling our 3 year old daughter not to go too close to the edge of the porch out of fear that she will tumble off the edge and hit or head.  Every now and then she ventures towards the edge of the porch and tests her boundaries until we scold her.  One day when we were heading out, instead of taking the stairs she ran over to the edge of the porch and jumped off the side to the driveway and landed on her feet.  Needless to say my heart was in my throat.  I didn't immediately scold her but told her how careful she had to be doing that.  I told her it was safer to walk around and down the stairs but she asked "why when I can jump off the side?".

The thing we can learn from this is we need to keep pushing the limits ourselves.  We need to do physically challenging things on a daily basis.  We need to question authority, you know, within reason.  We need to ask "why?" and not accept the norm, look at things from a different angle.  Kids minds work differently than adults because they haven't had the years of constant "no, you can't do that".  They think and act freely without the constraints of patterned thinking forced upon them by "normal society".

I didn't want this to be a "break the shackles of corporate society" blog post because I don't do those.  There is a lot of that around the blogosphere and I think some of it is complete b.s., but that is not to say that I don't enjoy reading those kinds of posts, they're an enjoyable read, just not always practical.  I think you can live a fulfilling life by having a balance between your yearning to break the cycle of "middle suburban America" and saying screw it to "the system" and living like monk vs. becoming an over-consuming brain washed corporate yes man.  After all, isn't healthy all about balance?

This is why watching kids is great.  They learn which rules are there to keep them safe but are striving for ways to reinvent "the game" and keep it fresh and interesting.  I think adults need to think about doing this more often.  Why is it that kids always have the right idea on living a fulfilling life? Please, if you enjoyed this article, please click the Digg or Stumble This buttons below to share it with others! And please, share your thoughts in the comments, see you there!